Another day in Holland...

Andy is sick. Really sick! We spent all day yesterday in the bathroom with explosive diarrhea. Then, finally, when I thought it was all over, the vomiting started. WHOO HOO!

During this time, ex baby daddy got his court notice for contempt. How funny that he can call when he is angry and wants to yell and scream at me, but yet, he won't return calls when Andy calls him. Hum. Interesting. Never in my life have I met such a narcissistic person. I feel so sorry for his wife....actually, I guess I don't. She is choosing to stick it out with him. That's one choice she will look back and regret, but, she doesn't see that yet. Her "hindsight is 20/20 moment" hasn't happened yet. But, it will. And I'll be here to say "I told you so!"

Now, I have to spend my day doing at a minimum, two big things. 1. Take care of the sick boy again. 2. Write a letter to the court. Good times!!

The poem!

Can you tell this was my first post? The poem didn't attach to the previous post. 

Anyhoo..It's called Welcome to Holland, and to sum it up. It's about a woman on a plane, heading to Italy. She is SO psyched to go to Italy! She learns some Italian, she is excited about gondolas, the coliseum, etc. But, in the middle of her flight, She gets diverted to Holland! Who the hell wants to go to Holland?? She gets there, and she has to stay there! She is STUCK in Holland. Can anyone point to Holland on a map? is it even a real place? I have no idea...So, there she sits, she has to stay.

Same as having a disabled kid. I wasn't prepared to go to Holland. Truth be told, I wasn't prepared to go to Italy! I was WAY too young to be having a kid anyway. I should have had a chaperone on that flight to Italy! But, there I was. Tossed into Holland with their stupid windmills and stupid WOODEN shoes. But, eventually, even though it's not Italy, I got used to Holland. It's ok. Kind of like living in the Saint Louis area when I want to be living near one of the Great Lakes!

You still mourn the fact that you are stuck in Holland and the people from Italy get to wear designer clothes, leather shoes when you are wearing WOOD (wtf is up with that anyway?).

You mourn the fact that your child, who just started high school, isn't going to do the fun things you did in high school. No school dances, no crushes on the opposite sex, no best friends, no drinking parties and coming home drunk..oh wait..I didn't want him to do that anyway ;)

You get sad, as I did last night, when you go to buy birthday presents for your 15 year old and you are still buying Elmo and Barney because that's what he likes! Let me tell you, 15 years of Barney is NO PICNIC. I want to strangle that purple dinosaur more than you know.

But, then you come home, and there is your boy. Silly, smiling, singing along to Elmo songs. And yeah, Holland is slow, but, it's ok. Maybe you are supposed to be in Holland afterall, but a trip to Italy would be DAMN NICE.

About my blog title

My son was born with multiple disabilites. Even now, 15 years after his birth, I still hear "God doesn't give you more than you can handle!" REALLY? Cuz I'm thinkin you are WRONG. There are moments, days, weeks, even months, where I REALLY can't handle this. Luckily, they are followed by moments, days, weeks, months of handling it!

So, that became the title of  my blog. Not because I am overly religious, because I certainly am not. Just because, I think people really don't know what to say and that statement is the one they come up with more often. Ok, that along with "I don't know how you do it! I couldn't do it!" The thing is, you don't get a choice! When the doctor hands you that tiny little baby, you don't get a "do over". You don't get to say..yeah..know what? I changed my mind. I'm good. I think I am not ready for this." So, you get thrown into a world of new terminology and new experiences that you had no idea even existed. It truly is a different world and, 15 years into it, I am still learning.

In 1987, Emily Perl Kingsbury wrote a poem called "Welcome to Holland" She summed it up nicely: